Behold the woman’s guide to house hunting.
House hunting as a couple comes with its fair share of challenges for both sides. You have most likely heard the expression “men are from Mars, women are from Venus” and there is never a time that holds it as true as when on the hunt for the perfect abode. As coins have both sides, couples are made of two, which means both men and women have their own agendas, when it comes to the perfect house.
So, without further ado, let’s dive right in and take a look at the unique challenges faced by womankind whilst searching for the ideal home with a partner:
1. Men are obsessed with garages
When a man is house hunting he is essentially looking for the perfect home for his family car and tools or at least, that’s the story in most occasions.
1-bed house with missing roof tiles and a garage, that’s £10,000 over budget?
Husband – “It’ll be an adventure!”
Wife – “No”
Caravan parked up in a field with no front door and a garage?
Husband – “We’ll take it!”
Wife – “No”
Yes, a man loves a good garage. It is his retreat, his sanctuary. It’s a fact that most men will and slowly start spending more and more time in the garage and eventually transform it to a DIY workshop.
“A day spent within the confines of those windowless walls, with the heady scent of petrol, sawdust and metal in the air, is the macho equivalent of a spa day. ” – say the apartment hunters from Apartminty.com
And of course, there’s the added advantage that the general dirt and eight-legged inhabitants of the garage will generally act as a natural wife-deterrent, making it the most sublime of nag-free zones.
2. Distance from the mother-in-law
You will most likely want to be close enough to be able to call in some babysitting favours when you fancy a child-free night down at your new local.
In equal measure, however, you’ll need to still be far enough to:
1) Be out of range of the observation binoculars that she keeps handy for ‘bird-watching’. It’s a fact – nobody wants nor tolerates surveillance of their home.
2) Logistically prevent her from offering to come and iron her beloved son’s pants. A no-no for sure.
3) Pretty much avoid her completely, save for pub night. No further comment required.
3. The Garden
If you conclude that your chances are slim, opt for a smaller more manageable lawn. It is a common mistake buyers do, always thinking about “more” rather than how to maintain the property later on.
In a surprising contradiction to the above, it can also be helpful to aim for a giant sprawling lawn. The reason being that giant sprawling lawns require giant ride-on lawnmowers, the grown man equivalent of his childhood pedal tractor.
“He’ll love the smell of petrol and be hearing the roar of the engine, jump at the chance to cut the lawn and simply be happy. And of course, giant lawnmowers need giant garages to put them in – an ideal scenario for the man of the house. Pick your property wisely for decisions are often a compromise.”
4. The square footage
“Men love to feel like the one with the biggest house and car and there’s no denying that size matters,”
For women, we quickly think of the practicalities of a big house, and, well, keeping it clean! Be prepared to use your best methods of persuasion if you’re after small and quaint and he wants big and bold. To reach an agreement from day one is something that rarely happens, but still does. So do not loose hope but rather focus on compromise and think how inhabiting your home will happen in the long-term. Truth is, most couples do not really need huge houses and often, a big house can be a huge headache to keep in shape.
5. Bathroom viewing
If he’s going to be spending a lot of time in there (he will), then it needs to be good. In an ideal world, there’ll be a TV in there for an optimum entertainment experience. The longer a man can justify spending in there the better, as it gets him out of toddler and/or dinner duty.
6. Men have no interest in curtains whatsoever
“He’ll be too busy peering out the window, trying to decide if the structure he’s spotted is a garage or just a shed with ideas above its station.”
So while you’re all about the paint samples and throws, don’t expect any interest to be reciprocated by your betrothed. Maybe tell him how much it’s all going to cost and he might start to pay attention.
So there you have it, some key points for all self-respecting ladies who embark on a house hunt with their better half. May the arguments are short, the garages huge and the curtain tiebacks fabulous.
6. Final words and takeaways:
House hunting is far from easy and none will ever argue about it. Picking the right property will always take a certain amount of time, nerves and not to mention sacrifices. But remember! It’s not the property that makes the perfect home, it’s the family!.